Sarah Jane's Common Errors List

1. Semicolons must have independent clauses that are closely related on both sides.

example- The ice cream truck drove by my house today; I asked for chocolate but I got vanilla.

2. Punctuation marks go INSIDE quotation marks, unless there is a parenthetical citation.

example 1- Fred asked Bob, "Will you be my friend?"
example 2- As Wallace observes, "Blah blah blah blah blah" (42).

3. Always check the words you are uncertain of.

example- I commonly mix up letters in the words weird and definitely.

4. Watch out for the misuse of words or phrases- if you're unsure, look them up.

example- The phrase more superior than is incorrect. It should be more superior to.

5.  Always keep in mind the rhetorical situation and think of what is appropriate and what is not.

6. Comma splicing: Be careful not to overuse commas. A main clause makes a complete thought, so you should not use a wimpy comma to join two powerful clauses.

BAD example- Fanning the slice of pizza with her napkin, Jane waited for it to cool, she had already burnt the roof of her mouth when she took the first bite.
GOOD example- Fanning the slice of pizza with her napkin, Jane waited for it to cool. She had already burnt the roof of her mouth when she took the first bite.

Writing Wrap-Up for Freshman Year

       This year has thrown the more papers at me than ever before. As a result, I've tremendously grown as a writer. I started the year off strong when I wrote my literacy narrative on camp journaling. It was an experience fresh off my mind, since camp had only been one or two months back, and I received a perfect grade. I remember being actually excited when I got this assignment because I knew exactly what kind of literacy experience to talk about. My eagerness to write my paper on a topic that I cared about helped me achieve such a high grade. I also spent three days revising and reworking my sentences until they flowed together nicely and created a story-like effect. My parents proofread it for spelling errors until there was none left. I’ve noticed that writing comes naturally to me when it involves talking about the things that I love.

            My WRAP test paper, on the other hand, was one that had a topic that did not catch my interest. It was the worst writing I have done all year. I felt incompetent while I wrote and was unable to cover three pages on it. I stopped short, which really hurt my mechanics score. I think if I was able to research it, I could have turned my score of 24/36 into at least a 30. I did not find any spelling errors and I thought my order was reasonable, but I wish I used stronger vocabulary. This essay was weird because I am usually good at writing as I go along. I think my lack of preparedness and lack of interest on the topic definitely made me do so poorly.

            My second best paper of the year was my profile paper on my backhouse. I chose to write description about a place rather than a person and it worked out for me. I was delighted when I saw Dr. DeGravelles’s comment, “Your use of active verbs is really impressive. It actually reads like a piece from an interior design magazine. And you did a great job incorporating physical and psychological details.” My adjective choice included words such as cinnamon, azure, and caramel to describe the colors of certain features. It was fun to get to use such rich words to describe. One thing that I had to work more was the opening paragraph to introduce the space and explain how the space is used. Dr. D critiqued my closing paragraph and said that some things came too much of a surprise- like how I said that I was not too fond of the design. I liked this surprise, though, and didn't want to change the other paragraphs just because of this one quirk. The only error in my sentence fluency was the addition of the phrase “in particular” in the middle of a sentence. It sounded a bit trippy, but I thought it added to my voice. I am pleased with the way my paper turned out. It is a paper that I don't want to change anything about. 

            My Literary Analyisis was one of the most challenging papers for me because it was style of writing that I wasn't familiar with. Also, I had do analyze a short story and focus on literary element(s). I had to rework my thesis a bunch until it was fit to both my teacher and my own liking. I had to approach this like a psychologist. The only thing that I made mistakes on was conventions- I misused “sarcasm” for mockery, I put “more superior than” rather than “superior to." I also misused a semicolon to introduce a quote. Another thing that affected my grade was one incomplete peer review that I was supposed to carry out better. The whole paper ended up working out great though. My thesis turned out great and I found that I could expand really well on it. My word choice was great too; I used uncommon words such as epicene and inferior. I am also proud of is the way that I transitioned from one paragraph to the next. 

            My global issues research paper, like my WRAP paper, was not written with eagerness. I found that it took up a large amount of my time for the research part and I was stressed that it involved two classes. Not to mention the fact that it had a lot of point value. I ended up making a 92/100, with the majority of the missing points from my laziness in citations and MLA format.  I should have done an in-text citation to include who is speaking and I should have added a reference to the source in the works cited list. I carelessly left out a few citations.  I had everything else in tip top shape- word choice, sentence fluency, ideas, etc. I was the most proud of my transitions. The content and ideas of my paper was A+ material. This experience taught me to carry out the other requirements to my best ability.

            Compared to eighth grade papers, there was a lot more requirements that I needed to think about this year. I was challenged on a lot of new styles and techniques, though I’ve handled it well. Writing is one of my strengths at school.   My writing continues to show my natural talent for forming flowing paragraphs with fresh word choice and bright ideas. The teacher feedback to my final drafts has mostly been approval, with the occasional remark about how I did not do citations to my best extent, or how I did not do proper peer reviews. These things do, sadly, take off from the overall point value of your paper and I will be sure to remember to properly carry out every requirement next year, not just the part about writing an adequate paper. My classmate feedback, on the other hand, was not as helpful as I would have liked them to be. I do give my class peers credit for proofreading and complimenting, though. I learned from this that I should try to revise classmates' papers better because I know how it feels when my own don't return to me properly or fully revised.

            Overall, the meat my papers are very well written and earn A’s in all areas of writing. Next time, I will try to do better on conventions. I must watch out for misused phrases and need put a little more effort into using standard conventions to document research sources.I hope that by finding more peers to review my papers, I can make my conventions ten times better.  If I am unsure about any word, phrase, or punctuation mark, I can use the web or look it up in the grammar books we received this year. One thing I will be sure to remember is how to properly quote someone. We went over this many times this year and were tested on it; I have even saved the notes on my computer. I’m glad I’ve kept these notes because there are many essays in high school where we must quote a source. Ninth grade english has definitely better prepared me for the high school writing assignments that await me in the future.

Reading for 4/23

Finished The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins- 70 minutes
Read my Biology Textbook- 30 minutes
Started Catching Fire by Suzanne Collins- 50 minutes

"Umbrella" by Rihanna

In the song "Umbrella,"  Rihanna tells Jay-Z that she will protect him with her umbrella, which is said as a metaphor for her protection for him. Umbrellas protect people from rain like Rihanna promises to protect Jay-Z from all the bad things in life.  I think that because they are both famous, she is talking about how she will always be there with him through the great moments of fame (sunshine) and the bad moments (it raining) when there are tabloids and critique, etc. The beginning part of the song, where Jay-Z rhymes that he "hydroplaned into fame" is a great beginning metaphor for becoming famous. Another thing that I noticed is the personification of the world dealing cards. This is a popular phrase, and she uses it to express how whatever the world throws at them, they will stick it out together. Most of the phrases in the song show unity and protection that Rihanna is willing to offer Jay-Z throughout their life.

Besides all of the metaphors, I noticed Rihanna and Jay Z made several allusions; to Rain Man, Little Miss Sunshine, Dow Jones, and Roc-A-Fella. Rain man is Jay-Z in the song, but it is also a movie from 1986, but also there is another meaning for rain main that is related to the devil. I like to think that since Rain Main and Little Miss Sunshine (2006, came out around the time the song did) are both movies, that they are just using movie titles in a creative way. Little Miss Sunshine is also a little character from the Little Miss series of books by Roger Hargreaves. Roc-A-Fella Records is the record company that Jay-Z started with some other artists. It might have been a Roc-a-Fella song. And lastly, Jay-Z says "Dow Jones" because it is the company that publishes Wall Street Journal. I'm not exactly sure what that means.

I've also noticed that this song can have different meanings depending on who is singing it. It has a broad meaning and can apply to multiple situations. It's nice how Rihanna and Jay-Z collaborated to make a song like this.

Outside Reading 4/16

At the beginning of spring break I was able to fit in some outside reading. I continued to read The Hunger Games, which I read for 80 minutes total. I enjoy this book because it is set in a post-apocalyptic world. I enjoy reading futuristic novels because I like to see the author's take on how the future could be. Suzanne Collins depicts the setting, Panem (where North America once existed), as a highly-regulated country that is split into 12 districts. These districts each contain a certain social class- miners, fishers, etc.- important to Panem. Katniss, the main character, comes from the least favored district. I don't think it is likely that America will become like this. I especially don't think that America will make children fight each other on national television.

Many people think that the Hunger Games sounds too gruesome to read but it's really not! I think people "judge the book by its cover" (literally!) and don't take a chance to read the first chapter. It is not as repulsive as it seems; there's no gory details about the childrens death. I think it is more focused on the main characters and their trek from being poor District 12 inhabitants to the renowned victors of the hunger games. One thing that really blows my mind is how Collins is able to target all types of readers. Both my dad and uncle read the book, me and my friends have, and I even saw a little boy on the beach reading it the other day! If they can all read it, it must be worth giving a try.

The Hunger Games- 80 mins

Science Textbook- 30 mins

Analyzing poems- 25 mins

"Fifth Grade Autobiography" by Rita Dove Poem Analysis

I was four in this photograph fishing
with my grandparents at a lake in Michigan.
My brother squats in poison ivy.
His Davy Crockett cap
sits squared on his head so the raccoon tail
flounces down the back of his sailor suit.

My grandfather sits to the far right
in a folding chair,
and I know his left hand is on
the tobacco in his pants pocket
because I used to wrap it for him
every Christmas. Grandmother's hips
bulge from the brush, she's leaning
into the ice chest, sun through the trees
printing her dress with soft
luminous paws.

I am staring jealously at my brother
the day before he rode his first horse, alone.
I was strapped in a basket
behing my grandfather.
He smelled of lemons. He's died----

but I remember his hands.

This poem by Rita Dove, paints a picture in my head of a photograph that was probably in the the narrator's fifth grade autobiography. I conclude that the picture is from her fifth grade autobiography because, of course, the title, and also because she states that she "was four when this picture was taken." This poem gives me a sense that the girl was flipping through her fifth grade autobiography and she sees a photo that brings back memories and these memories were put in poem format to capture the memory's strength or beauty. That is really what all poetry does though, capture the beauty of a memory through words that placed and chosen as beautifully as the picture they create. I think that this poem succeeds at capturing the picture more beautifully than just typing a paragraph about it because of the caesuras that put an emphasis on the last words of the line and because of the last line, about her grandfather's hands.

I have always believed that people's hands all have unique character that resembles their own. It has been said that people's hands tell a lot about that person. By saying that she will remember his hands is a savory way to say that she will always remember him. I have noticed that poems tend to make their last line allusive rather than direct. Poets want the reader to ponder longer about their works. Another things that I thought was smart to do was how she personified the shadow of the trees on her grandmothers dress as cat-like, saying that it had printed her dress "with soft luminous paws". Whenever I read this, I thought of a cat lovingly nursing on her dress. This to me, adds to the feeling of warm memories. I get a vibe that everything was alright because it is really laid back. There are no words that can be connected to anything bad (or anything evil) besides poison ivy and the death of her grandfather. Overall, I think Rita Dove does a great job on planting her childhood memories into the reader's head.

Outside Reading Again

     This week, I finished Someone Like You and began to read The Hunger Games. I saw the movie in theaters and it was probably the best movie I have ever seen. I want to read the whole trilogy and I know there's things in the book that weren't in the movie. Also, I know that everyone at camp this year will probably be talking about the Hunger Games, so it is a must read! I'm not too far into the book yet, but I will be by the end of the day. I would say I spend about 30 minues reading The Hunger Games.

     Another part of my 150 minutes of reading has yet again come from reading my biology textbook and french novel, La Quete de Despereaux by Kate DiCamillo. In biology, we had to take a lot of notes this week. We moved on to Chapter 11, which talks about how genes are controlled. We have already had to do a presentation on the lac operon and the tryptophan operon explaining how they work. Everyone in the class got close to a 23/25, with the best grade being 25/25 and the worst being 22/25. We all did pretty well and read what we needed to out of the textbook. La Quete de Desperaux is the french translated version of The Tail of Despereaux.  It is a story about a mouse who lives in a castle and falls in love with a princess. It's actually pretty easy to read. It is such a nice feeling to be able to read books in French now- it shows how far I have come in the language.